Productivity...

...going up.

Woke up at 4:00 am. Couldn't go back to sleep, so I started and finished a book I bought the other day. Not a bad book. Kind of Junior High, but full of awesome allusions to mythology, so it made the nerd in me happy.

After some mindless walking around the house, trying to think of something to do, I plopped myself in front of my computer and finished a concept for a painting I've started. Then I- well... I started cleaning. Yes, me. Cleaning. Pulled out the swiffer and the vacuum, did half of the upstairs (the other half was left for my darling sister). Managed to tidy up all the loose papers all over the place. Even sorted through them and threw out all the random doodles I find myself... doodling.

After some more aimless wandering, some yellingatmysisterbecauseshethinksit'sdamnfunnyannoyingmewhenI'mrunningonthreehoursofsleep, I pulled out my art supplies (which really need to be organized in some way). Started making a paint palette out of bounty and parchment paper (MacGyver) and got to painting. An hour later, this is the result. It was going to be a forest in the background, but it ended up being some... kryptonite cavern or something once I realized I cannot- for the life of me- draw/paint trees. I'm sad that I didn't have enough money to be semi-gloss or matte blending medium/retarder, because the glossy is too shiny and I hate how it reflects lights from some angles. I really should read label more carefully before I pay $5.00 for a 118mL bottle. Traditional media is so expensive. :c

Tomorrow involves driving to places, so I must sleep.


Here's something to wrap your mind around.

p.s. Me and my J.J. with me he will pla-ay. All night and all da-ay, me and my J.J.!
My favorite episode. I love Private, though Kowalski is my favorite. :\

p.p.s. Harry Potter previews are killing me inside. But I shall be patient. <3

Underoos

All in all, today was a productive day. Not productive homework-wise. But, then again, who really cares about that.
It involved a shopping trip, me driving, and no yelling. Which constitutes as success in my book. The trip was to get ideas for my room, because it'd going to be re-painted. Thankfully. I was getting tired of the red in my room. Here's a tip: never choose to remodel when you're in a crappy mood, or going through an emo/rebellious phase.

I ended up finding a nice full-body mirror (or whatever they're called) with a blue frame that'll match the color of my room. The color I've chosen? The same as the nail polish I'm now wearing (to the right). I have big plans for my room, but my mom has been shooting a lot of them down. :\ I'll think of something, though. c:
Also bought undies. Is it wrong to be really happy about new underwear? :\

Franz Ferdinand- Ulysses

p.s. loveacrosstheocean, yes. I'm super ecstatic. I keep seeing previews and my eyes pop out of my head due to rising blood pressure. vlogbrothers, "And Ron Weasly has gotten so buff."

Camping '09/ Fire

Fire,
awesometurtle.

If you look carefully, it looks like some flaming monster or something. :\

All I really took pictures of while camping was the awesome rainbow fire. It was awesome.

More fire pictures

P.S. Last post for the week. I'm going to be cracking down on homework. Hopefully.

July 19

There's something really... comforting? Relaxing? about crying yourself to sleep for no reason other than sheer mental exhaustion.

That being said, I actually took some initiative and brought my book, Into The Wild, with me to my cousins' house to get some summer homework out of the way. And I actually read it. For a while. But some distractions popped up (read: duckling and alcoholic beverage, not together) so I ended up abandoning said endeavor in pursuit of a more relaxing one: doodling while watching Pirated of the Caribbean (2). Le sigh. I still can't spell caribbean without spell check.

I came home to get back to my nerdy adventures (i.e. CSS coding for a design). I really can't seem to design anything lately, but I have an unquenchable urge to code things. Need to find an outlet. Somehow. Anyone want a layout? Or know someone who wants a layout?

Should sleep now. Probably not going to happen, though. :\
Oh, well. You win some, you lose some.

p.s. New favorite song. The lyrics are kind of... amusing and witty. Or maybe it's just me being agnostic/atheist-ish. :\ Brand New- Jesus Christ (Lyrics here)

Once Again

Yup. New layout. Accidentally deleted my old one, so I figured it was time for a change.

Actually based from a layout I've been struggling with for a while. Sometimes coding just doesn't work. Can't win 'em all. :\ I managed to fix it in the end, but I still don't think it works well in I.E. 5.5. But, who uses that anymore?

Using Apple Safari now. So much less lagging than Mozilla. But Firefox's add-ons will forever have a special place in my nerdy heart. c:

I have to study for a test now. :[

"We were sitting with our back against the world,

Saying things that we thought were never heard,

Ooh, who would've thought it would end up like this?"

- The Script, Before the Worst

tumblr.

Just discovered it yesterday. I love having all of my internet presences in one place. Plus, twitter updates in the dashboard, so I don't need as many tabs. Not to mention professional-looking themes. :]

http://www.tumblr.com/

Use Somebody

I'm sitting here in my pleather chair, back and clothes sticking to the chair in the remarkably warm weather, papers spread all over my recently cleaned desk, an obvious sign of my abandoned attempt at studying for my test tomorrow. Segment Two is the most boring three days I've spent in my life. I can't pay attention long enough to absorb any of the material being reviewed, which makes the $30.⁰⁰ two hour class periods a waste of time. I keep getting tripped up by all the numbers and statistics I have to memorize. It's been well over a year since I took Drivers Training (segment one) and I can't remember the vague facts. I really need to study, because I can't wait till I get my license. Even though I hear nothing but complaints when I drive. Now it's my sister, not my mom, criticizing me, so I'm just going to go ahead and shrug it off as her being a bitch towards me like usual.

I'm really drowsy right now. Various disjointed thoughts are chasing each other around my head, and I'm just sitting back, watching them in a hazy, amused state. I'm too tired to settle on any thought for too long like I usually do. It's a rather.... relaxing feeling. Not thinking quite so much, not worrying. Not letting my mind add unnecessary weight to certain topics, like the future- my future. It's liberating in a sense.

I'm anxious to get my AP test results back. I completely forgot about them (trying to erase a traumatic experience from memory, lol) until my sister mentioned she got hers back. It's kind of on the peripheral. Right now I'm more worried about summer homework (mainly art). Honestly, what were the chances of my being idea-less right when I actually needed ideas?

I'm planning on taking a shower, studying for half an hour, then trying to read Into the Wild by Krakauer so I can hurry and move on with my summer homework. The summer homework that I conveniently lost the paper for, which outlined everything I needed to do. Joy. Hopefully my friend types it out for me soon, or I'm screwed.

-Julie

Plans

Ok. Found out I'm going camping Saturday. Which makes me kind of motivated to kick off what I've been putting off since... well, since school got out... (doodoodooooo transitional element)

So, I had a minor panic attack yesterday (technically two days ago, if you're anal). I sat down to make a list of what I want/need to have done by the end of summer vacation. Turns out, it's A LOT. I was thinking of ignoring my computer and it's magic (internets) so I could at least make a dent in what I have to do by the end of this week. Then I realized that... I can't.

Most of what is stressing me is my summer homework for art. Mainly because I can't think of anything I want to commit to paper/canvas/etc. And I kind of need the internet, especially dA, for inspiration. Plus, I need Twitter to talk to my cousin, so that's out of the question. c:

But, I compromise. Instead of lurking on dA, facebook, etc. like I do (I swear, I always have a tab with dA and facebook open), I'm only going to be on a total of 1-1.5 hours a day. In return, MSN will be open as long as my computer is on or it's not being a bitch. Which it does a lot.

Can't wait to go camping. Even with the imminent threat of mosquitoes of doom (and the resultant allergic reactions to them). There's going to be a lake or something that people can swim in there. Hopefully. PLanning on making sure we bring the inflatable boat/raft thing so I can draw out on the water. Yup, no swimming for me. Not in the mood for it. Maybe I'll get ideas for my art project/s. Maybe not. At least I'll have a shitload of sketches. c:


But, umm... Yea. That's all I have so far.
Waitwaitwait. One more thing. ;]


Since I'm a barren wasteland of ideas (i.e. I have NONE) I was hoping people could suggest things I could sketch in free/downtime. So, throw whatever you have at me. Free for all requests, basically.

p.s. I've noticed this alot, and I have no idea what it means; Blahblah blabbity blah, bipitty boppitty boo (read:blahblah). <-- What does that mean?! What is it's purpose/usage? Why am I obsessing over it?

p.p.s. Thinking about the future. Trying to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life. You know, no big deal. /wry laugh I was thinking of going into psycology. It's not really art related, but there's art therapists, too (though I think I'd be too busy judging skill rather than content, so it may be out of the question). The human mind just fascinates me. I kind of want to be someone who treats the really "messed up" cases (sociopaths, etc.). Yes, I know. What is wrong with me? It's just a though. In case nothing else turns up that I like. :\

Sincerely, Terrified

I... hate this. Shall I explain? <sub>Psh. Like you can stop me.

It all started with Fourth of July. Or, as I like to call it, mosquito hell. Stung so many times, so many times. I have a bite on my side, and I can't reach it easily. Do you know how craptastic it is wriggling around, trying to stop its incessant itching? Not to mention I have 4 bites on my right foot. One right above a vein, and it scares me to scratch it because I can feel the vein. Also, I'm having my usual allergic reaction, and my foot is so swollen. Like, ridiculously so.

Then, today, I went shopping with the family. Not boring, not fun. Kinda content with the day. We came home, made and ate scrumptious food. Homemade fries, in eggs with cheese. Kind of like a french fry omelet. Accompanied by salad. If you think it sounds disgusting, you don't know what you're missing out on, man. God, I'm drooling thinking about it. Meal was accompanied by Pepsi for some, beer for others. I was drowsy by the time I got in my room, so some might be able to guess where one of the beers went. So, I napped. And it wasn't my usual "nap," which usually last anywhere between 6 hours to... whenever. It was an actual, two hour nap. I woke up after one hour, sweating and swearing at how unbelievably hot it was. Half an hour later, it was freezing. Then, I managed to get back to sleep. And boy, I regret it. Nightmare. Now, I don't dream. Like, ever. I probably do during R.E.M. sleep and don't remember. But, I doubt I dream as much as the average person. Mainly because once I'm asleep, I'm dead to the world. Nothing reaches me. It's literally a battle trying to wake me up if I'm tried. There's clawing, punching, kicking, and hissing involved, all from me. So, the fact that I was having a nightmare was enough to scare me a bit. And it was a semi-lucid nightmare, I was aware of what I was doing.

But that wasn't the worst part.

It was a relatively short nightmare. But it involved one thing that is keeping me from turning my lights out now and going to sleep; A damn realistic, large spider. /shudder I can still picture it and... damn. It's freakin' me out.

The nightmare (henceforth referred to as dream, because that's what I keep typing) started with me sleeping. Sleeping in the dream. Then I woke, in the dream, but it was like I woke in real life. I was in my sister's room. First thing that told me things were off was that the furniture was rearranged. Anyway... The lights were off, but the hall light was on, causing a little path in front of the door to be illuminated. And on the ground, of course, was a spider. Form a fist with one hand. That was the relative size of it's body. Of course, it had eight (counted 'em) legs. And, I know this is going to sound terrible and disgusting, but it's the only way I can describe it... The spider was juicy. I don't mean, like, wet or slimy. Just, not small, dry, and spindly like spiders. Very... meaty and fleshy. It was struggling with something. I don't know what. I was to busy freaking out. So, I took a flashlight that was by me, turned it on, and rolled it towards the spider. It immediately attacks it, crawling all over and trying to move it, but failing. I utter a squeak. Next thing I know, it turn to face me, going up in the defense/warning posture spiders do before they attack- when they raise the front half of their body to make themselves appear larger and more intimidating. Which isn't necessary. I was already scared as hell. As soon as it did that, I kind of blacked out and woke up, my heart racing so fast it hurt, and literally paralyzed in fear.

I haven't been able to go back to bed since, even though I'm exhausted.

And to make it worse, I have a sudden urge to paint my dream.

Because I'm a freak.</sub>

_-Julie

p.s. Apologies for grammar/spelling mistakes. Don't really feel like proofreading.

July 01-02

Because, yes, I'm covering TWO days in one post.
I know. Lazy. Hence the one word sentences.

Bee Boop Bee Bop *transitional robot noises... times machine to July 1*

So, cousins dropped by on the first. Would have been fun, but the usual source of ideas/amusement/overall enthusiasm (i.e. Denis) was at summer college classes or whatever. So the majority of the time was spent bouncing "What do you want to do," and "I dunno. What do you want to do" back and forth, with varying enunciation. Somehow segued into a sleepover. Fun. Until I had to share a bed with Denis. Which is disaster. Here's the thing: When I sleep, it isn't instantaneous. It's not like as soon as I lay down/assume a position parallel to the ground I drop, completely and totally asleep. It takes hours to sleep. Hours in which I must have total silence, or my brain won't quit. And, of course, Denis kept snuggling, poking, tickling, and making weird noises. That was problem one. Problem two; I stretch all over the bed. You know crime scene investigation chalk outline, with the limbs flailed out all over the place? Yea. That's how I roll. Sprawled out like I've been dropped out of a plane (which, coincidentally, was what I dreamt of).

My lack of comfort/own bed resulted in me waking up at 7:00am. Unholy hour, considering I went to sleep around 2:00am. And I haven't taken a nap yet. I've been sleeping less and less lately, which can't be good. My heart/muscles around my heart ache 24/7 in an unusual way. Not a normal muscle-achy way.

In other news:
[link] Chat and stuff. Occasionally watch me doodle. Mainly because MSN won't stay open longer than, like, 5 minutes or so. Which makes me depressed. I'd use Meebo, but I keep closing the tab on accident. It's sucky, because I want to talk to people. Even though no one talks to me. I sound like a grade-schooler. "Sucky." Really, Julie? Wow. :]

I think I might be having an existential crisis.... which makes it sound really serious and terrifying. But it's not for me... hmmm....

Kind of funny because the first thing I thought when I saw this article (
[link] ) was, "So that's what I'm feeling," followed by, "Well. It's not 'art block' then." Because that's how my mind works. xD




Umm. Not for the uber-religious. ;] Still funny if you care to be open-minded.